We are Richly Blessed

September 24, 2006

Today is a significant date in our family. It was 10 years ago today that my father in law died. He had not been in good health and on September 23, 1996  he had a stroke and died the next day. I did the service.

It was later that same week that my wife found a lump in her right breast. A biopsy the following week determined it was cancer. I remember making the phone call to tell my parents. Our lives were changing and changing fast. We came to Houston to see a doctor her mother had used years before. A month to the day her dad died Anne had a mastectomy. Life was changing. Two weeks after her surgery and a few days after her first chemo she developed a staph infection that put her in the hospital four days and then again seven days and then was followed by two weeks of home health care.

She continued with chemo with good results.   She got an all clear after six months of chemo. The next day my dad had a heart attack followed by triple bypass surgery.

Anne did well the rest of that year and into the Spring of ’98.  We moved from Nacogdoches to Winnie in 1998. Her reoccurrence was diagnosed in July’98. We changed doctors to pursue a stem cell based treatment program at Methodist Hospital. She began chemo in July. In November a battery of tests revealed the cancer had spread to her liver, lung, spine and brain. She continued chemo and began radiation. She took a downward turn on her birthday in January and slipped a little every day that spring until she died in Methodist Hospital on June 11. 1999.

I had spent the night with her and had returned home to pack for a four day stay.The hospital chaplain called just as I was leaving for the hospital. There are many more stories that are part of this story. Anne fought a good fight. I was fighting with her. I was blessed to have known her. We were married for 10 years.

Those were trying times. I look back, however, and can see how I was blessed through those 2.5 years. It was a blessing to keep the “in sickness” vow. It was a blessing to have so many show so much care for us. It was a blessing to have the good year to travel. It was a blessing to be held in prayer. It was a blessing to learn what it meant to live one day at a time. It was a blessing to say each day “We can do this”

Not once did we ask why us. No one in this life is exempt from suffering. The better question is “Why not us”? It was our turn.

A year after Anne died I married Kristi. We had met 24 years before at a youth camp in Arkansas. Not long before we reconnected we each had had a premonition that if we ever remarried it would be someone we knew. I was and continue to be blessed by Kristi. She is beautiful, talented, intelligent, fun loving and she is also becoming a pretty good Texan.

We married in June of 2000. On May 18^th  2001 Kristi’s sister Kerri was killed in a car accident in Topeka, Kansas. A drunk driver ran a stop sign and hit Kerri’s car. She was killed instantly. Kerri was taking her daughter and friend home from the skating rink. Her daughter and her daughter’s friend survived. Kerri’s daughter, Emma sustained permanent brain damage and is now in a Long term Care facility. In those darkest of days we were blessed.  We were reminded of the power of prayer love and support. We knew we were standing because someone was kneeling on our behalf.

About a year after we married I began to have pain and spasms in my upper back. The symptoms, other than the spasms, were slight.  I noticed my left hand was losing some agility. I began to type with my right hand only. My left shoulder hurt. When we moved to Wills Point in 2002 I was very aware of the changes in my hand. Some days my left thumb would quiver, My ring finger was drawing in. The hand problem evolved to arm problems and then leg problems all on my left side. Within a couple of months I could not put on a shirt without help. I clearly remember two Christmas band concerts where I could not put on my coat without help. The spasms continued in my back. I noticed my left arm did not swing when I walked. My left leg was also uncooperative. I lived with this for a couple of years dismissing to stress or aging.  .

When we moved to Rosenberg I had had enough of the pain, stiffness, and slowed movement. I saw a doctor, had an MRI, did physical therapy. I was sent to a neurologist that diagnosed me as having Parkinson’s disease. It was August 2005 I was given the news. Many things went through my mind. I didn’t want to begin this new appointment with a label. And I did not want to become the illness the way I had seen others become their illness. I wanted to take my medicine and keep busy. Parkinson’s is a movement disorder.  It also affects mood and sleep. I have had the emotional  lows and two hours of sleep a night is not uncommon.

My first year with the Parkinson’s diagnosis included denial The medicine helped my  movement. I could put on a shirt by myself. I still was aware of my walking and my balance in small spaces was not so good. Sitting for long periods of time left me stiff. Kristi did all the reading on the disease. I tried to stay active.

When I look back over these past ten years I wonder what happened to me. Some days I feel like I have not been myself all these ten years. I feel like important parts of myself were scattered when Jack died, when Anne died, when Kerri died and when my symptoms began. Sometimes I feel like a decade has passed that I have failed to get on top of.

I share this just to let you know who I am and where I have been.  My life is no more or less complicated than anyone else’s. There are persons in this room whose lives are far more painful and tragic.   I have my share of joys and sorrows. I have made my share of mistakes. I have had success and failure. There are many things I would do differently if given the chance. Regardless of where life has taken me I have been blessed.

I know that tragedy, disease, pain and suffering are not blessings. I know however that they do not prevent us from being blessed. The blessings are ours to draw strength from even when life is a its worst.

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Being blessed does not mean your life is perfect. Being blessed does not mean everything in your life brings you waves of ecstatic happiness. Being blessed does not mean you have everything you want. Being blessed is to receive the gifts of life with gratitude and with the sense of their divine origin. Being blessed is to see where God’s hand has been.

Many blessings just come to us like the wind and the rain. We live in a country of freedom and wealth by virtue of our birth and the sacrifices of many who went before,  These blessings are undeserved and ours to enjoy. The list of undeserved blessings is a lengthy list of love, friendship, etc. Those blessings are all around us and we only need to open our eyes to see them.  All good gifts are from God. We are Richly Blessed. Some blessings just need to be acknowledged.

Jacob was a scoundrel and a thief. But Jacob was also the grandson of Abraham and the covenant was to be  fulfilled through Jacob. One night, when Jacob was returning to his home an angel visited him. The Bible says that Jacob wrestled with the angel all night and refused to let go until he received a blessing. The angel changed Jacob’s name to Israel, meaning he had struggled with God and prevailed. The angel touched Jacob’s thigh and gave him a limp as a reminder of the struggle.

What are we willing to do to receive a blessing.?

Some blessings come to us because we have ordered our lives to receive them. When we look at another whose life seems richer than ours, perhaps, the difference is the decisions they made

I had lunch recently with a high school friend I had not seen in more than 20 years. We caught up and talked about our families. Glen has three children. He bragged on them all. About his middle son he mentioned how disciplined he was. As an example he said that the son is up early every morning and has breakfast with one set of grandparents. I thought what a blessing for the son to have that contact everyday. but the blessing comes because he has ordered his life to receive the blessing.

Worship, relationships, prayer, spiritual reading are all blessings, but e must order our lives to receive them.

Blessings come to us undeserved.

Blessings come to us when we order our lives to receive blessings.

And finally blessings come to us when we bless others.

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If Blessings are what we get out of life, then some blessings are proportional to what we put into life.  

Luke 6:38 The Message

Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back - given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.

Henri Nouwen, the great Catholic spiritual writer, wrote a book titled Open Hands/ in yje book he wrote..

To pray means to open your hands before God. It means slowly relaxing the tension which squeezes your hands together and accepting your existence with an increasing readiness, not as a possession to defend, but as a gift to receive.

That’s how it is with blessings. They are not to become items we put in a box.

Blessings are not to be horded. We are blessed with God’s open hands. so we can bless others.

It is often said that love is the only thing you can keep by giving it away.

Love is expressed with affection, and devotion.

Love is also expressed in how we give